A Fresh Start

I’m struggling. Struggling to find the words. The right words…

How do I come up with the perfect words to express how I feel? And on top of that, the pressure to create a blog post that I’m proud of is pretty overwhelming.

I’m overcome with emotions and I honestly have a million thoughts and feelings going through me at once.

Last weekend I was given a house. You read that right. A HOUSE. I’m floored. Absolutely in shock that anyone would find me even a tiny bit deserving of something so big or so special.

I’m so excited and scared at the same time! Change is, and always has been, tough for me. It’s also really tough for my girls. We’ve had some major changes in our lives in the past few years. To say that this house is a good thing would be an understatement. It’s an answer to prayers. It’s a future that we didn’t know that we needed and a dream that we didn’t even realize that we had. I cannot wait to turn this dream into a reality and to turn that house into our home.

Can I share with ya’ll what I’m excited about?

I’m excited for a fresh start. To see what else in this crazy life The Lord has in store for me.

Breast cancer was really hard (another understatement). It was extremely scary. There were alot of days during that year that I honestly thought I wouldn’t live to tell about it, and at one point I remember telling Allen and my Mama things that I was afraid if I didn’t say then, that I wouldn’t have another chance to say. Things to tell my girls for me. Like who to go to when they were scared, or if they needed to know how to be a good mama, or even who to go to when it came time to try on wedding dresses… I wanted to make sure that every little thing would be covered. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God that I’m alive and cancer free.

There are so many others that are so much more deserving than me. So many faces that will forever be ingrained in my mind that sat in that chemo room like me and struggled to fight and survive just as I did. And there are some that lost their battle. My heart breaks for them and their families. It so easily could have been me.

One thing that I realized over the last year and a half especially, is that God allowed me to go through breast cancer to make me strong enough to make it through other things. There’s no way that I would’ve survived divorce if breast cancer hadn’t had come first. Breast cancer gave me a strength that I never knew I had. It showed me how to be brave and how to accept help from those around me that love me.

The Lord has plans for me and my girls. Plans to give us a hope and a future. He brought me here. He showed me that I’m brave and strong and enough. He’s blessed me with the most amazing man, that came into my life exactly when I needed him and through Ryan, He has shown me what real, true love is supposed to feel like. And now? Now He’s given us a house to begin over in.

I’m really excited to start this journey. To build our home and to be able to write about it each step of the way for you guys to see! This blog has come at the perfect time. Hang in there with me… my life is just getting started.

Kristy