Give Me All The Journals
You ever have so much shit on your mind that the only way to let it go is to just get it out?
I’m honestly not sure where I learned it, but for as long as I can remember I’ve journaled. Everything from song lyrics to lists to excerpts from books I’ve read. If there’s something that I’ve loved, I’ve written it down. If there’s something on my heart, I’ve written out prayers. Even during times in the past when I’ve felt alone and had no one to talk to – my journals are where I’ve felt the most safe and secure. Whether it be writing it out in ALL CAPS – because I’ve needed to scream out my hurt and fears or pouring my heart out in letter form to those I didn’t feel as though I could be vulnerable with. My journals have always been an ‘out’ for me.
I think that we all thought that this year would just magically begin and wipe out the last. WRONG. This year in some ways has been so much rougher than last for me. I’m patiently waiting on plans to begin building our forever home. The ‘not knowing’ is hard. I’m a planner. Change is hard for me. I like to know what’s going to happen in advance so that I can begin to work on things that have to get done before our life begins in that house.
2021 hasn’t been easy at all on Ryan’s family either. Over the last year me and my girls have grown to love his family like our own and seeing them struggle is wearing on this heart of mine. Ryan’s Daddy was admitted into the hospital with Covid Pneumonia right after Christmas last year and is still fighting for his life as I type this. It’s been a long time for his family to be without him. (Please pray for him with all of us. My God is good, He’s seen me through more than I can say, and I know that He will see Ryan and his family through this tough time too. Please pray that Mr. Armando will get stronger and healthier every single day! Pray that he will come out of this and that he and his family will be able to reunite soon!)
Stress is a pain in the butt. With all that is going on in this world and all that is happening around us, I continue to pour into my journal. I’m trying to focus on writing it all down instead of letting it weigh on me.
I’ve begun something new this year and started a junk journal. I was telling Ryan about it and he said something that has really stuck with me. He said it’s like creating a ‘vision board’ on each page. That’s exactly freaking right! Each page is full of a ton of things that just feel right at the time. Whatever I have on my mind that day comes out in scraps of paper, stickers, words and all types of miscellaneous things that all come together to create this masterpiece that is really beautiful. It’s such an awesome way to let all that shit go that we tend to store up and bring us down. I can’t wait to see it all come together and fill up every page.
Also, regardless of how hard this year has already been, I’m still searching for the JOY in the little things…
3 Things that bring me JOY…
1 – GAME OF THRONES. I just started watching it a couple weeks ago and I’m so hooked! Im still on the first season because I can only watch after the girls go to bed, but it’s just so good! If you know me, you know that I love me some Jason Mamoa, so of course his character and storyline are my favorite.
2 – Baskets. Seriously. I love going to antique stores and good wills and yard sales and I can’t help but check out all the baskets. Ryan looks at me like I’m nuts because I have so many. Haha! That poor man isn’t going to know where to put them once we live together!
3 – Seeing 10:09 on the clock. 10/09 is my birthday. Every other day since my Daddy passed almost 6 years ago, I’ve seen 10:09 at some point during my day. Call me crazy, but it just feels like my Daddy is sending me a sign that he’s always here with me.
What are some things that give ya’ll joy? I’d really love to know. Also… tell me what you’re reading! I swear I’m always reading 3 or 4 books at a time and I’m constantly adding more to my list! Read anything good?
2021 can stick it,
Kristy